"imagine that voice far below crying:
come back -- come back."
#when did gum get so fancy? #i can actually hear him giving that entire rant in my head #in the 20 items or less lane of a grocery store checkout buying a hot pocket and an avocado #gesticulating wildly at the cashier like they are solely to blame for icebreakers ice cube gum #and those extra dessert delight abominations #”excuse me sir but i eat dessert like a person. like a HUMAN BEING.” #”nick i’ve seen you eat cake with your bare hands.” #”humans existed before silverware I AM NOT DEFINED BY SILVERWARE.”